The Social Anxiety Equation w/ Thomas Smithyman PhD

Guided Negative Emotion Differentiation: A Powerful Mindfulness Exercise for Rejection and Anxiety

Let me guide you through the transformative exercise of "Negative Emotion Differentiation." I use this mindfulness technique daily and I've seen how it can help us handle emotional distress and social anxiety.
 
The psychological research supports the power of this exercise. Studies show that emotional mindfulness and the ability to differentiate between negative emotions is associated with less emotional distress, and quicker recovery and friendliness following rejection experiences. It also finds that there is something about simply naming clarifying and naming our emotions that helps to reduce their intensity.
 
Over the long-term, mindfulness of emotions can lead to enhanced emotional regulation, a more adaptive coping response, as well as a greater understanding of oneself. And it only takes a few minutes a day. I delve even further into these topics in my expert guide, "How to Handle Rejection," published in Psyche Magazine. This comprehensive guide lays out innovative strategies to cope with the pain of rejection and rejection sensitivity, extending the knowledge I'm sharing with you here. And for more on overcoming social anxiety, you can get my book here: https://geni.us/DatingWithoutFear
 
If you found this video helpful, please don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more expert-guided psychological insights and exercises.

The Fundamentals of Social Anxiety Treatment: A Guide for Therapists

Join clinical psychologist Dr. Thomas Smithyman as he presents a comprehensive training on social anxiety at Tufts Medical School. In this first video of the series, Dr. Smithyman covers the basics of social anxiety, including diagnostic criteria, social anxiety measures, and how to understand and conceptualize the disorder. Gain a deeper understanding of this complex condition and learn how to help your patients overcome social anxiety. Essential viewing for all therapists.
You can find the book here: https://geni.us/DatingWithoutFear

Social Anxiety: A Chat with Amazon Bestselling Author & Psychologist about Overcoming Anxiety

Here's an interview with Dr. Smithyman about his new social anxiety book--with Dr. Marianne Stout from the Anxious in Austin podcast.
 
You can find the book here: https://geni.us/DatingWithoutFear

What if social anxiety is not the enemy? Change your relationship with fear

A lot of improvement comes from changing our relationship with our social anxiety. By changing how we see it, we can change how we respond and react. This is turn leads to a drop in distress. This has made a big impact for me and is a core element of social anxiety treatment.  
We'll talk about:
0:00 - One of my biggest insights in my own growth0:38 - The shift you need to make: social anxiety is not the enemy1:19 - Working with The Anxious Part and The Protective Part of us1:52 - How I engage differently3:36 - The "Watching the Storm" metaphor
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 17, 2022.
ONLINE THERAPYI'm not currently accepting new patients for online therapy. 
INSTAGRAMFollow me here: https://www.instagram.com/socialanxietyequation/

social anxiety reddit: are you jealous of smooth talking people?

What if other people aren't as aware of your imperfections?
The focus on perceived flaws generates a lot of anxiety. This is due in part to some basic misunderstandings. We want to accept that we have imperfections - like everyone does - and choose not to focus on these. This is part of a segment where I briefly answer popular social anxiety questions from Reddit or other platforms: Rapid-Fire Reddit. 
We'll talk about:
0:00 - We are more aware of our *favorite* flaws than everyone else1:08 - We assume others think the same way we do1:38 - We don't know WHAT others are insecure about2:23 - The problem is our RESPONSE to the perceived flaw
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 2022.
 
 

How many times should I face my fear? Social anxiety exposure therapy

How often do you need to repeat an exposure before you can move up to something more difficult? This is a question from from a YouTube viewer - thanks for posting. We can’t rush through an exposure hierarchy because you won’t give your brain a chance update and learn that it’s safe. But you do have to keep moving forward. To know when it’s time to escalate, you’ll need be aware of your anxiety score out 100 in the exposure - we call this your Subjective Units of Distress or SUDS.
We'll talk about: 
0:00 - Please ask me your social anxiety questions0:32 - What is an exposure hierarchy?1:03 - The rule for how long to stay on one item in an exposure hierarchy1:42 - The anxiety curve for multiple exposures2:15 - The rule for how long to stay on one item in an exposure hierarchy2:40 - The goal of exposure therapy for social anxiety
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. https://thomassmithyman.com/subscribe/

How to make friends in a new city, according to a psychologist #3

People often ask me how to make friends as an adult. It's legitimately challenging to meet new people and make friends in a new city after a move, post pandemic, or when you're shy or an introvert. In this 3 part series, I'll go through some important research to help you understand the situation and I'll describe what steps to take to build a social circle. This has really worked for me, and allowed me to tolerate the discomfort and make friends the 7 times I've moved cities (and countries) as an adult. 
In Part 3, we'll talk about: 
0:00 - Go first, be the social leader1:00 - Clinical example: the power of "going first"2:12 - The STEPS for how to form connections 3:11 - The "seeds" metaphor of connecting 3:50 - HOW to meet people: warmth, seeds, basic social skills 4:28 - How to make friends after a first interaction 
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. https://thomassmithyman.com/subscribe/

Social anxiety exposure therapy: There is no ONE RIGHT WAY to be

One unhelpful way of thinking in social anxiety is that there is a specific, narrow acceptable way to be. Believing this increases anxiety dramatically if you feel like you can’t act that way, or it’s inauthentic to you. We often deal with this by hiding parts of ourselves, pretending to be different than we really are, or avoiding interactions. Exposure therapy for social anxiety works in part by allowing us to test out this belief, and find out whether people are more accepting than we anticipate. Any move towards being more authentic (and especially being accepted for/despite it) is immensely healing. Lowering demands is helpful in the process - it doesn’t have to go GREAT, we just want to learn it doesn’t go TERRIBLE. 
We'll talk about: 
0:00 - Intro0:35 - What overcoming social anxiety looks like1:06 - One off the biggest insights: it goes fine, not terrible1:45 - There isn’t one RIGHT way to be2:40 - Graduated exposure for showing more of yourself3:54 - The first steps for doing graduated exposure
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. https://thomassmithyman.com/subscribe/

How to make friends in a new city, according to a psychologist #2

People often ask me how to make friends as an adult. It's legitimately challenging to meet new people and make friends in a new city after a move, post pandemic, or when you're shy or an introvert. In this 3 part series, I'll go through some important research to help you understand the situation and I'll describe what steps to take to build a social circle. This has really worked for me, and allowed me to tolerate the discomfort and make friends the 7 times I've moved cities (and countries) as an adult. 
In Part 2, we'll talk about: 
0:00 - Finding situations for repeated contact1:18 - Bonus tip, community oriented subcultures 2:00 - Example of one easy connection group2:42 - Who is OPEN to connecting?3:44 - Being the “Social Leader” and taking the social risk4:53 - Research shows we UNDERESTIMATE how much people like us
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help. 
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK...coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. https://thomassmithyman.com/subscribe/

Exposure therapy for social anxiety: how to use self compassion

Exposure therapy is very effective for social anxiety. However, if we do it the wrong way, it can hurt rather than help. If we try to take on too much, it can increase our anxiety, lead us to start avoiding even more, and can feel like torture. We combine exposure therapy with self-compassion. 
We'll talk about: 
0:00 - Don’t torture yourself with exposure therapy0:33 - Be compassionate to yourself with exposure therapy0:46 - What is the right pace of exposure for YOU?1:17 - Identifying the best goals for Social Anxiety exposure2:21 - The common reasons exposure doesn’t  work3:20 - Be a good parent to YOURSELF4:09 - The deeper goal of exposure therapy for social anxiety
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety. 
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don't know about it. I'd like that to change, and I'd really appreciate any help. 
MY BOOK...coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. https://thomassmithyman.com/subscribe/